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Dr. Thaddeus S. "Rusty" Venture
28 April 2009 @ 12:26 am
It seemed that we had some unresolved inhibitions that needed to be settled/conquered in the past few weeks. In respects to this (as well as my impatience when uncontrollable emotional matters arise) it was decided: The Venture family and Brock would officially meet up.

Yes, that means we actually spoke to Brock in the flesh after weeks of computer-only contact. I’m still kind of ill from the intense amount of testosterone shared around the Brisby booth that evening (mainly from the boys)... I’m just not used to dealing with “family matters” let alone ones that involve dysfunction and rebellion. I always assumed I had a firm grip on things, mainly the boys. Maybe I’m just getting old.

The results of this matter are still pending, of course; it seems everyone is recently distracted by an outbreak of some kind, as it were. This is either a blessing from the one they call God, or just another heinous plot to shove me that much closer to my untimely grave, knowing him.

Being a man of super science as well as moral ambiguity, the predicament doesn’t particularly phase me; I’ve seen my share of “things”, the list ranging from Guild interns and unsuccessful transportation to the often more bizarre world of mutation and interspecies gene metamorphosis. Complete hormonal substitution and genetic transformation really shouldn’t be as bad as it sounds, people    this coming from a comfortably heterosexual male. It could even prove fiscally enlightening, if manipulated the correct way, which should be considered.

We’ll talk about the possible opportunities more after everyone calms down, which they are advised to. Womanhood, although awkward and frightening, is nothing to overreact about. It’s just a vulva and breasts, scientifically; there really are no homologous differences. The functions are practically the same, save some more... Well, obvious differences...

I really don’t care to go into detail about the natural sloughing of flesh and blood within the uterus, so we’ll leave it at that until desperate measures need enlightenment. (I find it easier to type the functions out rather than say them. Just ask Dean.)

For now just calm down. This is mainly directed to the boys, White, (whomever else I come into direct contact with), and Brock.

Oh, and Hank and Dean: don’t think I haven’t noticed your often unpleasant antics as of late as well as the tantrums you threw before the official Venture meeting, female or not; a father never forgets. Expect due punishment after this whole issue is resolved. And thank your lucky stars that you two are home schooled. It’s situations like these that should make you thankful you have a father like me.
Emotion: busybusy
Dr. Thaddeus S. "Rusty" Venture
23 March 2009 @ 01:17 am
[Lock from the Boys]

I’ve been pretty unreasonable as of late.

... Incredibly so, to be perfectly honest.

Petulance seems to be my new hobby. Even more so than it usually is. But it doesn’t go without cause, of which only a few people are aware of.

[Lock to Kim]

You’re right for once Kim. Even at my age, jealousy always seems to have a knack for screwing things up. Royally. Honestly, I assumed I outgrew the thing in college.

I may not like you [putting it lightly], but that does not merit obvious assumptions pertaining to your sex life and all who share it. For this, I grudgingly apologize for. I'm a man of self respect, so I'll spare you the excuses as to what made me say and do what I've already done. Simply know that I regret my actions. You’re still young and naive and may one day outgrow the person you are currently, so I should get used to your, ah, current way of living.

Just be sure to keep it a little more PG13 around the boys, will you? Thanks.


Sympathy has never meant less to me than it does now. It seems the same can be said for those around me.

Oh, and if ever I find a cure for fragility and ignominy, I’ll be sure to enlighten you. Lord knows a need a milligram of that by now.

Emotion: disappointeddisappointed
Dr. Thaddeus S. "Rusty" Venture
18 March 2009 @ 12:48 am
[Lock from Samson]

Disregarding my initial urges to “celebrate” a holiday based from something completely religiously dried up, I decided to take it easy for the remainder of my St. Patrick’s day evening. Meaning some good old “me time”. Or I was hoping to do so, at least.

Now, I’m not really one for aimless drinking [or so I am willing to admit], but that night [or the one before it]... Was really something worth a goblet or two of Irish Cream. Or perhaps something less disgusting like cooking sherry. I can’t really afford to be picky as it is.

I’m not trying to be careful or subtle here, so I may as well just come right out with it: Brock and I... Well, we've been “meeting”.

On and off.

On horribly sour/bitter notes.

Things are hopefully getting better, despite our common arguments. Lord knows I want them to    by all means    but... Something just won’t let me get to the key point of psychoanalysis, so to speak. Maybe I’m not naturally benevolent, or maybe it’s blatant conceit.  ...Or pride.

I’ve been thinking a lot about what I may have done to aid in Brock’s current... Absence. Or forced to do so, no thanks to a certain someone for deliberately pointing this out, as it may be an incredibly unneeded amount of emotion on my behalf. Yet... I can’t help but wonder if things like this truly effect a strictly professional relationship. It’s not like I treat all of my employees like trash [if I had any at all]. Brock was an exception to this, he was... He was FAMILY. You’re not always sweet to family. Well, not unless you want something...

Emotional situations aren’t really my, ah... Forte. At least I’m trying for Pete’s sake! [Sorry in advance for the double entendre, White.]

Should I try being... Pleasant? Nice?

I’m a man of simplicity, throw me a bone here!

Emotion: apatheticapathetic
Dr. Thaddeus S. "Rusty" Venture
04 March 2009 @ 02:00 pm
[Locked due to spent emotional turmoil]

We’re all aware that a certain someone’s gone/homeless/possibly dead. And we ALL know what that certain someone [in all decent honesty] should be doing at this very moment. But that unfortunately for his jack-assery is not going to happen. I should know; I’ve known the man for the better portion of my life. Well, maybe not the BETTER portion [thank god for veneers, let me tell you], but I knew him. Or at least I thought I knew the big lug.

With all things considered, it’s been quite awhile. I’ve had time to think about a few things and a little advice was given    not taken, but certainly appreciated in its own way of course. Not that it was HELPFUL in any way, but the support is definitely appreciated. Especially with the way things are going now. And by that I mean the “vulnerability” issues. It’s not a very comfortable situation to be in seeing as we’re pretty much naked in the breeze, here.

So me and the boys have been thinking   ... Well, I take that back: Since I am the only one capable of making an appropriate decision around here, I’ve been thinking    in the best interest of everyone, or so I have tried    it’s about time for a little change around the old compound. And by change I mean something along the line of... Well, a replacement of sorts. ...A bodyguard replacement.

. . .

Oh, come on!

There’s no reason we shouldn’t be honest here, right? I mean, it’s not like it’s some “reclusive” scandal that no one knows about! Everyone knows about what's happened and why, and let me tell you, everyone. Even the boys know [or have their own assumptions], and that’s, ah... That’s definitely saying something seeing as how they're usually not the brightest when “adult” kind of situations arise.

Seeing as everyone's aware, it's only appropriate to take action.

I don’t think my decision is based off of hostility. Of course not! Me? Bitter? Really. How immature do you think I am? Just because my TOP bodyguard left me and my family high and dry doesn’t really mean I have the right to be UPSET or anything. I just feel it’s time to “move on”... I’m too [old] to be worrying about Brock’s his stupidity anyway. I have a life to live you know. A dangerous life, mind you.

It's not like things can be so easily mended, either. He knows that. He took his chance and lost it by screwing the Venture family over. As far as I’m concerned...


Let me put it this way before I‘m tempted to dabble in profanities:

Considering all that we’ve been through, all that I’ve seen and “endured” with the man [not to mention the boys in 15+ different ways], I honestly thought that he was... “Classier”.

Who “squanders” himself on flippant emotions these days? I mean really! You don’t see me giving up just because things get a little “scary” [don’t quote me on that]. There are TONS of things I remember being forced to do that weren‘t quite right for an unstable kid, that‘s fort sure! I’m sure I could have quit the old game had I wanted to, but I stuck through. That’s what a Venture does; endures. Well, to an extent.

Yes, yes. Quitting the OSI takes some big kahuna‘s, we get it, Mister. But quitting ME? The BOYS? After what we’ve done and all that we've been through? THAT, my friend, is simply cowardly with a capital “C”.

Not only are we defenseless and susceptible [dare I bring up Tijuana?], but do you know how hard it is to find decent bodyguards these days? Ones who AREN’T completely mental and/or psycho/OSI rejects? I don’t think you do, bub!

I'm even getting pity from people who I assumed hated me because of this little pity party! How demeaning do you think it is when one of your alleged "arch nemesis'" wants to "take it easy on you" because your bodyguard high-tailed it in mid-riot? It's ROCK BOTTOM arching. Rock. Bottom. Isn’t it supposed to be the opposite of sympathy? Oh, I don’t know, perhaps more alluring to hit a dog while it's down? Kill the guy while he's vulnerable? Hello? Am I missing something here?

Oh, and don’t even get me STARTED on the sympathy cards and fruit baskets we've been getting. It’s like everyone’s lost their marbles over this or something.

Do you know what my room smells like? It smells like fruit and shame. SHAME. And I’m not talking about the bitter kind of pungency either, I’m talking about the full blown stench of a man in need.

And, of course fruit...

Not that it matters, really.

I’ll just continue on being as completely UN-bitter as I’ve been, and look in the yellow-pages.

Just let me say one thing:

You certainly have a way of leading people on, fella'. Now I have two emotionally finicky teenage BOYS to look after and you know as much as I do that these type of things I... I just don’t really excel in the emotional aspects of my son’s lives let alone my own. That was your job. Not mine.


Well, I think I’ve riled myself up enough this evening. If you don’t mind, I’m going to find a lonely glass and a half-empty bottle of marlow to spend the rest of my night with. If I’m lucky I’ll wake up with a headache hard enough to disable coherent thought.

Emotion: aggravatedaggravated
Tunes: Live Alone - Franz Ferdinand